The Beautiful Answer

Short Post Tonight

… and to sleep with tired me. So much rewarding stuff going on these days, but I’m still trying to take time to smell the cappuccino. actually, that’s a terrible metaphor. I hate coffee, any kind of coffee, with a passion. No amount of coffee would probably even keep me awake right now anyway. 

I love my blog. I love my life. But I love sleep more now. 

I can always tell when it’s time to scale back on the blogging and ramp up the writing when the characters of some new work set up camp in my brain and won’t quit, even when I want and need to sleep. 

So it’s off to San Francisco for me this weekend, to attend a private reading & signing party for Searching for Sassy, then back to L.A. for some theater stuff (trying to moe my play to NYC & L.A.) and then back on the road to Baltimore, to attend a performance of Punk Rock Mom and teach a workshop on Intutive Dating at breathe books. 

Can’t wait for all that travel, and to keep listening to the stories that want to tumble out form between my ears. But tomorrow, guys, tomorrow. This lady needs her rest. 

The Beautiful in the Unconscious

So tired right now that I’m finding the greatest amount of beauty in those moments right between waking and sleeping, when my eyelids are fluttering, my mind is no longer racing, and problems (mostly other people’s) fade into the background for the night. Tonight I’m going to see if I can bring on a dream, to make beautiful pictures in my head, hear amazing words and sounds in my ears, and go on a self-conducted journey of sorts. I haven’t astrally travelled (not intentionally, at least) in a while, so I’m going to give it another go this evening. 

Sometimes, you gotta get as far away from your “real” reality in order to see how incredibly gorgeous everyone looks from over there. 

But that could just be me hallucinating. You never know. 

Sleeeeeeeeeeeep

Sleep, I want to write an ode to you

Your softness against my cheek 

Your taking my consciousness elsewhere

I don’t know where it goes, and I don’t care

Because all I want to do is sleep, sleep, sleep 

Sleeeeeeeeeeeep

Until I can’t remember why I was tired in the first place

Super Quick Post on Reframing

Had a great meeting with some posible producers today, about possibly turning my book into a movie or TV series, then spent the rest of it giving readings and energy healings. Felt great, then tired as hell. As I’ve written before, there’s no real way to reframe sleepiness. It’s just a signal that the body needs to rest and rejuvenate itself. Energy, I’ve found, also needs to rebuild itself through working a little less, meditating and just spending time thinking about the future in a calm and non-stressed out way. 

I’m not great at not writing something. It seems I have to have the giving part of me, that provides readings and healing for people, and the creative “me” side, which has to be writing, painting, drawing or somehow expressing myself. I try sometimes to take breaks in between projects. but they seldom last too long. Creativity for me is like air. I can’t go too long without it. So I’ve got ideas for two books, both of which I hope to complete in 2012. 

Ambitious? Definitely, but I feel that they’re both natural expressions of where I am in my life right now, and both kind of necessary to reflect the work I’m doing now. I’ve been developing my own brand of energy work, which has come out of the more than 20 years of experience I’ve had in this realm, and I’ll probably do another memoir, which will expand upon Searching for Sassy, which comes out in April 2012. 

Until then, sweet dreams. Hope your night is going well. And, if not, you can always reframe your experience, to take into account what you’d rather be manifesting. 

Guides Say Sleep

It’s hard to reframe lack of sleep. No matter if you’re the cranky type, the drowsy type or the reckless type drinking endless energy beverages to keep your eyes open, sleep is a physiological need. I tried though today, I really did. 

Getting stuff done, I thought about sleep as a luxury, picturing the people in Scandinavian countries that sometimes have to endure 23 hours of daylight or more during the summer months. 

Thinking about the future, I thought, well I can sleep more then, right? 

Rediscovering the present moment, I found my eyes drooping, and my thoughts turning to mush. What it is about sleep that makes it to … crucial? 

So I tuned into my guides and asked them what they were trying to communicate to me, besides the obvious message of needing more rest. And they said, “Sleep child because to not sleep is to not dream. To not dream is to not live. And to not live is to not use the time we have allotted for you in this incarnation to grow and change, enjoy and fail, connect and reconnect. We send you this great gift of sleep so you can conform your cells to those of the universe. While you are unconscious, we are with you more fully.” 

For a few moments, I just sat there, blinking. Maybe I was hallucinating. I tend to do that on a daily basis, though I call it creativity. And then I realized that it wasn’t about spa music and rejuvenation, although that’s probably part of it. It wasn’t about the great exhaling Om of the universe.

Of course. Sleep is when we’re least guarded, and most able to be with the divine all around us. I’m just glad they cleared that one up for me. 

Sleeeeeeeeeeep

Making time for detoxing has its benefits. You feel a little wobbly and on the verge of getting sick for a few days, but it’s one of the best excuses ever for sleeping. I love sleep. After basketball, it’s my favorite sport. It involves no contact, results in a sweet dizzy hangover if you’re doing it right, and hurts basically no one, unless you’re late for work. But since I work for myself, that’s rarely a problem. 

I had a pretty full agenda today — errands, yoga, writing and a little work. But about halfway through the day, I just … bailed. My brain and body conspired against me and basically said, “You know what, lady? You work too much. Your body needs to let some stuff go — some old memories (been having some really strange dreams) and maybe even some ideas about what the “right” way to spend Saturday might be.” 

I work a lot. True dat. I like working. My work doesn’t suck, at all. But sure, I hear ya. Sometimes you just gotta freakin’ fall asleep on the couch for an hour or so. I literally haven’t done that in years. 

Also been thinking about reframing some limiting thoughts and beliefs that have come up lately, about what I can and can’t expect when my book comes out next year. I keep finding myself thinking I shouldn’t expect too much, or should protect myself from disappointment if it doesn’t sell the way I want it to. 

Crap to that. I’ve been working with reframing that stuff all day, and now it goes something like this: Who knows what’s going to happen? I will work as hard as I can, and exploit the resources I have, and after that I have to trust that the universe and other people around the world will somehow find their way to it, and want to read it, and buy a copy. I hope they will find it funny, entertaining, and maybe a little moving. 

And I hope above all that I can keep weeding out this stuff that doesn’t serve me, and probably never has. Who needs that, anyway? 

Bluh

My throat is scratchy and I feel like I’m getting sick. I guess this detox stuff is working, right down to the molecules I’m releasing through my pores and breath. More tomorrow. 

Time for sleep and hopefully some more releasing while unconscious. :)