The Beautiful Answer

Catharsis

I’ve been writing a lot about the strange energy floating around for the past two and a half weeks or so, both in my own life and in many of my clients’. I’ve read people who are ready to chuck an old career and try a brand new road, some who are sick and trying to get better, and people who are just … confused and uncomfortable by all the change and uncertainty around them. 

True dat. The world is in the midst of some serious change. Mars and Saturn have been battling it out in the sky for a while now, and Uranus is in an applying square to Pluto, which will have major historical ramifications (June of this year should be interesting, as well as a few times next year). 

What has to come, when the world squeezes so hard, is a time of reckoning, when the tension gets so tough to bear that you either crack under the strain or go through a deeper kind of awakening. Of course, I prefer the latter path, and have found that catharsis is the natural antidote to this particular type of groundlessness and suffering. 

Maybe for you it’s a good cry, or releasing something (or someone) painful from your past. Maybe it’s letting go of memories that hurt to recall, or practices that aren’t working anymore. For you it could be a combination of these, or perhaps something completely different. All I know, and what I’m continually guided back to, is the need for us as a species to release at this time in our history. To purge our emotions and come back to ourselves renewed and purified. 

So get catharting!  Let it go. Release. Take a moment, relax every part of your body and watch the tension go. 

What, What, What?

I love those days when you feel like you’re past the worst of an energy disturbance and you’re kind of coasting again — at least for a while. Over the past few days, as seemingly everything in my clients’ lives has gone haywire, I’ve been trying to be the calm in the midst of the storm (I almost typed clam in the midst of the storm, which is probably a far more hilarious image). I’ve imagined roots growing from my feet into the earth, establishing a mighty root system that no wind could blow over, then a giant ship with insanely tall masts, capable of navigating through any nor’easter. 

Of course, imagining that this is the last storm I will ever encounter is wishful thinking at best. What I try to do, sometimes more successfully than others, is measure what’s happened, figure out what has to be done (both inside and out) to right the ship, then learn from it and try to to do that again. Maybe see it a little sooner, take evasive maneuvers — whatever’s gonna get me through it a little easier next time. 

This one has been a doozy. The energy is very strange, and all the channeling I have done (I’ll put some of it up on my blog @ SassyPsychic.com, probably tomorrow) is indicative of all this “end of the world” stuff this year is supposed to harbor. As usual, I just want to interpret it, to make sense of all the anger, frustration and uncertainty around me. Relatively speaking, I’m pretty happy, pretty balanced, and headed in the right direction. I try to be that, a little at least, for the people who choose to work with me. But sometimes — today, for example — I want to ask the universe, “What? What? What do you want? How do you want me to see this moment, make necessary adjustments, and help heal others and myself in the bargain? I am willing to work with you, anxious even, but just need to see it more clearly.” 

Make it clearer for me, universe. Please help me see it with all the grace and mercy necessary to bring some light into the word. 

Participation Isn’t Optional

It’s been quite a day — one for reflection and growth, and another for sheer annoyance. Someone I’ve been reading for more than a year and a half placed an order for a reading only to completely flip out a few hours later, calling me several names, getting belligerent and issuing threats. She was obviously in a lot of emotional pain about something in her life, but no amount of my apologies or money refunding would convince her that I was anything but someone who lived to take advantage of other people and make their lives miserable. Why it took her a year and a half and around 15 readings to figure that out, I have no idea. 

I’ve been doing this long enough to know that it’s not personal. Of course it’s not. And I’ve been doing it long enough to know that no one’s perfect. Not even me. :)  It was the entitlement that was so stunning about it, the idea that she thought I owed her something because her life hadn’t turned out the way she wanted it to.  That was really jaw dropping. As if I somehow predicted a hard and fast truth and if it didn’t happen, or not in the timeframe she had deemed appropriate, somehow I was responsible. As if energy doesn’t change form time to time, and she didn’t have to participate in the creation of her own reality. 

Let me break it down for you. Participation isn’t optional. It’s mandatory. Attendance is taken every day and, if you’re not there, it’ll go down in your permanent record. The real one, where no one really cares if you’re there, but it still has the power to make you happy or sad, fulfilled or empty, all the time, every day, for the rest of your life. 

Believe that. 

If you don’t participate sure, you might be able to cast off whatever you don’t feel like dealing with onto someone else. Picking a fight here, or creating some drama there. Maybe you’re so used to the drama that when you don’t have it in your life, you create it just to feel alive. Maybe you can find an enabler who lets you foist off your drama onto him or her long enough that your discomfort relents temporarily, and the relationship gets used up in five days, weeks or months, only to send you back to the drawing board, hungry for someplace else to place your uncomfortable feelings. 

Me? I’m done with it, and anyone else who comes into my reality this way. I have a huge soft spot for the struggling, the people who recognize their imperfections and work on them, just trying to be a little better, a little healthier each day. I am far from perfect, so I don’t expect it in others. Part of me doesn’t even believe it’s possible, so who cares? I am as much a healer as a psychic, and if you’re not up for it, that’s fine with me. 

So I sat in meditation for a bit, looking for ways to reframe what was essentially unreframable (that’s totally  not a word). Teasing the strands apart, I saw what she had brought to it, what I refused to take on, and how it had inflamed the situation between us. I saw that I had few other options, really, and so I chose not to take it any further. I don’t need to be right; I need be heard, and to at least be granted the opportunity to make my point. If it’s not received, I can’t help that. I can only release with peace, refusing to bring any more suffering, and wish her well. 

This is What Releasing Looks Like

As an intutive person, I sometimes find myself overwhelmed with strange moods. Luckily, I’ve been doing this long enough that I can tell where my moods end and someone else’s energy patterns begin.  I know I’m picking up someone else’s sadness, anger, or fear when I can’t connect it to anything going on in my own life, and then the process begins of trying to figure out who it belongs to, and why I’m the one who’s picking up on it. 

Today has been a weird day for several reasons, but around mid-day, I found myself pretty overwhelmed with a bit of fear and a lot of sadness. It felt like someone I knew was dead, or that I’d left all I ‘d ever known behind — almost like a stranger in a strange land, or a new immigrant that doesn’t yet speak the language. 

I’ve also done this long enough to know that you have to respect the feelings themselves. So I let them move through me, crying a little, then asked my guides what they meant. After all, I may never even meet the person who they belonged to, or know why I was the one they affected. They said, “Dear one, you are a lightning rod for fear, trouble and anxiety because you have shared these feelings yourself in the past. You know what it feels like to be alone, to be afraid, and to be tired or being tired. You can help people move out of these patterns and this is part of the reason we sent you to incarnation this time around. Now think about the feelings you experienced and tell us this: Why do you think they were sent to you?” 

Honestly, I had no idea, so I asked them to go on. 

“We send them to teach you what it feels like to find your way to the place you’re meant to be. This sometimes means, for everyone out there, that pulling away from what is known in order to create a new reality feels like a ship leaving a dock. There are memories that hang in the balance and they tie us to the past and the people we have known. They tie to to the future, too, and everything we have yet to achieve. This is what releasing feels like, and we are glad you had the wherewithal to see that. We show you this as a way for everyone to feel their way to where they are meant to be, almost like holding onto a rope in the fog. You and the others will find it. We are sure, and send lighthouses and guidelines to help you mark your way.” 

I love it when they do the reframing for me. :)  Lesson learned, guys. Lesson learned. 

The Healing Disease

I never believed I could really be a healer, instead buying into the notion that healers were somehow vaunted or gifted individuals who were either born with special gifts or somehow transcended the space-time continuum to achieve these mystical powers. Part of me assumed that healers had to go through many years of medical school or put in ages of residency work before spending the rest of their lives paying off school loans. 

Turns out, life had other plans for me. Years of gathering experience in other fields and then a serious need for immediate healing in my own life made me into a healer by necessity, even before I had considered using my skills to help others. But I find that the more I am asked by my guides to broaden my abilities, to reach out and try to help even more people, that so many assume that I am special, or more special, than everyone else. I call it the Healing Disease, because people assume I suppose that I have to either take on everyone else’s stuff so they can get better (not the way it works, in my experience) or just be a big-headed ashole who gets off on wielding that kind of power over others. 

Neither happens to be true in my case. Sure, I like helping people. It would be hard to do what I do every day if I didn’t. But there’s another part of me that wants to see how far human consciousness can go, what’s it’s truly capable of if made unbound. So my work in reframing this has as much to do with what others feel I do, or should do, than anything else. 

I started by just sending a burst of white light from my heart chakra as a way to clear the energetic space, then sat in that for a bit. I could feel the energy of others kind of relaxing into that shared place of light. Then I tried filling it with things I thought would be healing for all — healthy food, plenty of rest, clean water, loving families and friends, attentive mates, wonderful teachers and spiritual satisfaction. When I could feel that taking effect I moved up a notch, including tolerance and acceptance, love, education, engagement, and finally self-love. That might seem like an obvious one but you don’t do what I do and not run into a lot of people who don’t love themselves even a little bit. 

Once the space was filled with all of those intentions, I could feel any resistance or assumptions kind of melting off to the sides until we were left with a circle of people gazing at each other with respect and curiosity. Can’t ask for much more than that. 

The Precious

Slow and lazy day, during which I had a little chat with the divine. We talked about how I might take new goals on board over the next few months without burning myself out, and discussed how some people I know may not be on board for all of it, for various reasons. I wanted tea, but the divine wanted hot chocolate. It couldn’t be considered cold yet in L.A., but it’s working its way toward cool. 

In a few days, I’ll make my way to New York with my husband. He will do some research on a book he’s working on, a historical exploration, while I’ll attend Hay House’s Book-to-Screen Pitchfest. The irony of traveling from Los Angeles to New York to pitch film people certainly isn’t lost on me, but the story is applicable to these media, so what the heck? I figure I may as well give it a shot. 

Until then, the divine is giving me advice about how to handle myself, the trip (my throat is pretty sore today), and the changes coming my way as I deal with book, play and TV stuff happening in the same general timeframe next year, not to mention publicity stuff and a national book tour. Should be pretty interesting. 

So to narrow it down, the divine asked me what was precious to me. What I would follow to the ends of the earth, like Golem in Lord of the Rings. I said my husband and dog, of course, myself, and my health, as well as my ongoing work in writing and healing. But then I said something that sounded surprising to my ears, at least in that moment. 

I said I would follow it to the ends of the earth, that connection I love to feel on my skin and hear in my ars on a good day. I said I would follow the divine not in a blind or overly religious way, but in the sense of staying part of things while forging my path, and remaining close to those precious tendrils of strength and tenacity found in all living things.