Super excited to report that my book Searching for Sassy: An L.A. Phone Psychic’s Tales of LIfe, Lust & Love has just won its first award, as a finalist in the Indie Excellence Book Awards!
Yay and double yay!
The response has really been great, and I am so grateful for all the reviews I’ve already received.
Onward and upward, to see what’s next. :)
Today I reached a milestone in more ways than one. I’ve mentioned before that I am a writer, and have been doing this professionally (i.e., getting paid for it) for better than 15 years. I’m also a reader and healer, and have been doing this professionally (again, getting paid for it in a regular basis) for even longer. Sometimes, none of that matters, like today.
I have been on the radio a lot more these days, to talk about Searching for Sassy, a new e-book I’m releasing called Astrology for Foodies, and a workshop I’m teaching on Intuitive Dating. That’s given rise to a pretty big surge in new clients as well. I’m getting people from England, Holland, California, Japan, Australia and New Zealand, and other parts of Europe. Even got a new client from the Cayman Islands yesterday — pretty neat.
Let me say for anyone who doesn’t know that that it can be jarring to meet so many new people every day if you’re intuitive. You’re picking up on all sorts of energy and have to read it while talking (hard enough) and then make sure you’re making sense to your client (harder still), all the while toggling back and forth from this world to the other. But every once in a while, you meet someone you’re clearly so destined to meet, where your skill set, manner and belief system are so clearly meant to come into contact with someone else’s that it’s like two trains running toward each other on the same track.
I don’t want to mention this person’s name, to protect his privacy. Suffice it to say that like many people, he was moving through a crisis, a time of great upheaval and tumult. I meet a lot of people like that and have learned to get out of the way and let them have their process. I can’t solve everything. All I can do is apply my skills and hope for the best. So I did, and he healed somewhat, becoming lighter and lighter as I talked to him.
By the end, he claimed to be a skeptic who had heard me on the radio and, as he became overwhelmed and began to cry, said he knew when he heard my voice that I was the one who had to deliver a message about his healing and growth through this tough time. O … M … G.
Cut to me dropping to my knees, emotionally speaking.
It’s not about me. I repeat; it’s not about me. I am a vessel for the divine. Its various aspects operate through my body and mind on a daily basis. It’s such a tough thing to even get across, after so long doing this. But I am so damn humbled to be part of this process, so grateful to be right here, right now, to help one more person move through the pain and back into the light.
I strive to be helpful, to be of service, and hope that I am.
You ever notice that whenever you’re tweaked about something, it’s generally not about that particular moment in time? More likely, it’s triggering something you went through in the past, and your rection to it in this moment is overblown and maybe even the slightest bit inappropriate.
I saw this in action today, which gave me a great opportunity for reframing. I was talking to someone (don’t want to name names because it’s not about blame or finger-pointing) and this person asked why spiritual people always seemed blind to their own faults, while readers (of which I am one) often have so much to give, and those seeking readings often interrupt, try to talk over you and really don’t want to hear what you have to say most of the time.
True, this stuff happens sometimes. Maybe even more than sometimes. But that’s not a world I want to live in, or a dynamic I choose to support. I’m not much of a fan of the “us vs. them” approach to life because it doesn’t tend to get anyone much of anywhere.
So I said I was glad they had come to me instead of someone else who might not care. She sat in stunned silence for a few seconds, I guess fully expecting me to jump on the “clients suck” bandwagon. But I don’t feel that way about my clients, even the ones who sometimes make my job harder. That’s not why I got into this lone of work, or why I continue to stay in it.
Then she said, “You know, I never thought about it that way. That’s probably true, huh?”
In that moment everything went retroactive, and all the times I’d complained about a client in the past (I’m not perfect; I’ve done it, too) kind of lifted off me energetically. And all I could feel in its place were sparkly little pulses of all that remained — my wish to be part of the circle of healing, and gratitude at being afforded the chance.
Maybe it’s the prevalence of magic in the air when the Moon is full, or the fact that tonight’s mega bright Supermoon is in the watery sign of Scorpio, but I find myself practically chomping at the bit to channel at times like these. So my guides offered the following words under the influence of this lunar beauty:
Our darlings, we have not come here to focus unduly on the suffering of the world. Undoubtedly, as the planets Uranus and Pluto move into a square relationship in the sky both in 2012 and beyond, you will be feeling the pinch of global events on a much larger scale. Governments collapsing, wars and especially rights of access to water will become more important as the days pass on your planet. You must not focus on these events any more than they directly affect you, which in your part of the world will not be as much, or as deeply felt, as in other parts of the world. We ask that you human babies, our dear ones, use this time of lunar delight to illuminate inner issues that need to be removed from your energy field. Humans incarnate at this time, and slightly forward from this moment, will be asked to leap. They will be required to go further and higher and deeper than any others in human history, because your planet is changing at a much faster rate. Many will feel this as undue busyness, or strive to become even more unsuccessful multi-taskers. We ask that this not be so in your worlds. Instead we wish for you all to be illuminated by the light of love. In our hearts you resemble tiny diamonds. So small yet to multifaceted and interesting from every angle. You bring light to your inner world, and to the world at large soon, when the world is most in need of a lamp. You illuminate those you are with with something as simple as a smile, or as complex as a problem solved. Our wish for you as humans now incarnate on this plane is to become more fully yourselves over the course of the next few days into weeks. This is not an easy practice, and one that many will misunderstand. But we feel that becoming comfortable in your bodies is one step, as is sharing your truth with others. Fundamentalism will become a byword most often used in the coming weeks and months. It is a dangerous and lopsided belief pattern that can and will be shifted by light bringers on this plane. You are part of that force if you are reading this message. Ally helps to bring more light into the world, but also helps to marshal these forces for the good of all. We wish for all to enjoy this lighter way of being soon, knowing full well that if need be, this force can be marshaled against those who would wish the world into darkness. Sorry to be heavy on you like that, but we wish to make it clear that humans have an important role to play in the coming years, as time itself seems to stop. You are the bringers of the dawn, as Barbara Marciniak so delicately put it a few years back. You are the ones who will make a supreme difference on this planet, and we love you for it. Good night, and enjoy the beautiful dawn tomorrow. It begins a new cycle, during which we wish for you to take concerted steps toward lightening up in all aspects of the word, and then bringing that light into the world a little more, and then a little more than that.
I suppose it’s no accident on a day when we had a significant Jupiter transit that I (and maybe you, too) experienced some major expansiveness. Jupiter is the luckiest planet in the zodiac, and when other planets aspect it, or hit our own natal Jupiter’s position, chances are we’re expanding our influence (hopefully not our waistlines), getting a promotion, enjoying a sense of wellbeing — you get the drill. They’re just days when nothing can go wrong, and you’re kind of walking around on air, not expecting the other shoe to drop. Because it’s fabulous, and it’s already on your foot.
Today was like that for me. As I’ve written before, I’ve got a lot on my plate these days, with a recent book launch, meetings about future writing projects, plans for a book tour this summer, existing clients and lots of new clients as well. Oh, and I’ve got a play opening in three days from now. So if you’re in the Baltimore/Washington, D.C. area, go see Punk Rock Mom at the Venus Theatre. So I’m not looking for expansion as in “‘let’s find a few more things for me to do.”
Ironically, it came looking for me in another way. I had a few clients, then a few meetings, and then a few more clients kind of bookending my day. I always like to leave my work behind this way, because the energy of my sessions stays with me, and I feel like I’ve spent my time well, helping people. When I looked back at my day today, it was as if some snake charmer had orchestrated it. It was just so graceful and easy, not stressful or forced in any way. And I wondered how that had happened, when no one seemed to be the planner — except for maybe Jupiter.
Thank you, Jupiter, for making my life an easier place to be, and helping me experience expansion as so many things are going right. Since it’s Beltane, I’ve left out some almonds and cookies for the fairies, in the hopes they’ll grant my wishes.
Doing radio and print ads over the past few weeks, I’ve been asked again and again how you know you’re psychic, how you know you’re good enough to practice professionally, and how you know that what you’re seeing and experiencing has any practical use in someone’s life.
The thing is, knowing and sensing are two separate things. But where they intersect is the place I work every day.
I knew I was psychic when I was a kid. I saw stuff on my wall, projected almost like a movie. These “movies” had people I had never seen, places I had never been, and images I had no way of knowing about at the tender age of 5. It wasn’t until I was an adolescent that I realized, after reading a lot of books, that I was naturally intuitive, and could develop that gift into something more. What it needed, like anything, was something to look up to.
If you’re trying to develop a skill, you want to be around people who are better than you, who can challenge you and in doing so, increase your hunger to be better. I was lucky enough to land at a job at a phone psychic line, where I met really talented people working in a variety of fields. They pushed me, as did the callers, to keep reaching outward, to believe in what I had but strive to see more, feel more, and hear more from the universe at large. And I still do this. I try to be around people who are not just challenging, but have something to teach me. Whether that’s a skill, a life lesson or something else, I want to always be looking up, up, up to the best person I can be during this incarnation. After all, why would I want to be anyone else?
You know you’ve been running for a long time, doing whatever you’re doing, if you’ve forgotten about the finish line. In my case, I’ve been writing so long, reading people, trying to gain additional knowledge of healing every day that I practice, and preparing for a book launch on April 24th. In the time period between there and here, I’ve also been asked to write articles, blog posts, screenplays and even another book proposal, which I totally can’t even think about right now. The brain just rejects anything else trying to crowd its way in.
Then today it dawned on me that I had kind of erased the finish line in my mind.
Part of me is glad that happened. If you’re concentrated on when the race will be over, you get tired faster, at least in my experience. You have more endurance if you can put the end result toward the back of your mind, and let it hang out with the rest of your discarded thoughts.
But when do you get there, then? How do you celebrate any real sense of achievement if you’ve never arrived? This way, you get too focused on the destination to the detriment of the journey, and all the scenery blurs by as you race your ass to the the next thing on the list.
All right, all right. Maybe I get the drill. Though I can get a bit too focused on what I’m trying to do, filling my days with all the stuff I feel means something in this world, perhaps I also need to stop and smell the … whatever sometimes. Call it the stop and go plan, the “I’ll get there eventually” mandala, the oh-my-god-isn’t-this-life-beautiful way of racing, where people and goals and the ineffable are all one and the same, equally weighted in this gorgeous cosmic dance.
As a psychic and reader of over twenty years, I’ve learned that there is one main question that unites us all. Does someone love me? Will I find someone to spend my life with, or end up alone? Am I lovable, and will someone connect with me on that level?
There are, of course, many variations on this theme. Does he/she love me? Will he/she love me? Will I end up with this or that person? Everyone wants to know, and yet many people are apologetic about it. No worries. We all want the same things, after all.
Today, I looked for some new love in my life. No, not that kind. I’m a happily married woman who found the right person at exactly the right time in my life. If we’d met any sooner, I would have been too wild, and if we’d met any later, I might have been with someone else. I like to think that person would have been far worse than my husband, who’s pretty all-around cool.
The new love I sought was from the universe. I decided to try something new today, and just open a new channel. I saw the top of my head, or crown chakra, open up to just see what the universe would do. I sat there not expecting anything, but being open to whatever would happen next. Then I saw a powerful burst of golden light move downward through the top of my head, and extending all the way throughout my body. It felt like an electrical shock radiating all the ways to my fingers and toes. But there were particles inside this light, too, like little bubbles, or flecks of glitter. All of a sudden, I felt lit up from inside, and I heard my guides saying, “You asked to become light when you were sent here and we have lived up to our end of the bargain. Now it’s your turn to see where you can shine.”
Shit … really? You mean I have to do something about it now? Kidding, of course. But that’s what you get when you ask for love from the universe. It shows up in the very next second, if your eyes are open to recognizing it.
Today’s been a bit of a breakthrough for me. One some days, I “get” other people’s stuff - their emotions and fears, their concerns and worries. I usually know it’s not applicable to my own life when I do a quick check through my body and emotions — there’s usually some separation there — and I know I’m picking up something out there in the universe.
Today I started picking up some weird energy — a little sadness, coming in tiny waves, and then a thought chasing that through my mind, to not get ahead and leave everyone behind. To not outshine the pack. That’s strange, I thought. Not apart of my waking reality. Not really.
I sat in meditation for a bit, just allowing the thoughts and sensations to arise in my mind and body. That felt a little better. I did some work, took a break and ate lunch. The feelings dissipated some. I did some more work and then checked in with the feelings again. Then, as chance would have it, I read an article about a guy who studied these seemingly “difficult” emotions that arise in our lives. Most of the time, we’re trained to ignore them at best, and push them away at worst.
He found that if his test subjects just brought kind awareness to the issues, whether they were physical or emotion in nature, and just abided there, staying with them without judgement, that the pain went away over time. That’s right. Whether it’s physical pain or emotional trauma of some kind, just staying with the feelings without judging whether you or it is good or bad, you can make your own pain go away.
Fascinating, as Spock would say. That proves what I’ve been wondering about for along time. That healing lies in the space between, hanging out and waiting for us to invite it in. Not easy, to be sure. But worth it? You bet.
I don’t know about other people, but my first loves were distinctly of the animal persuasion. Not much of a girlie girl, I played with stuffed bears, plastic horses and little glass figurines that rounded out the rest of the forest. Chipmunks, squirrels and birds were some of my earliest friends. I just kind of got them in a way I didn’t get people.
Wait, that makes me sound like a freak. But maybe not. I still work with pets sometimes, when their family members (I hate the term masters) can’t seem to communicate. I still find that when I pick up psychic information, when I “hear” the higher self of the being in front of me, animals are always the loudest. It’s not as if they’re shouting. Far from it. More like speaking in the clearest voice you could imagine. I never wonder if I’m getting the message with animals. They’re simple, and their voices resonate.
Though I can’t count myself as one of them, I also get crazy cat ladies, or people who adopt ten dogs when they live in a studio apartment. Again, not my thing. I actually got a lecture at the dog park by a woman who told me I wasn’t “doing my share” because I refused to adopt more dogs and cats, then walked to my car shaking my head. Of course no one can tell you something like that. It’s like someone else choosing your lover for you, or the films that will mean the most to you later in life.
For me, animals require no reframing. When I look into the eyes of my dog, for example, I can see that she understands that she is safe, and will be fed and loved and looked after for as long as she’s on this planet. I can see the history we have together, when she narrows her eyes and it looks like she’s smiling when we play. Her tail wags a little more slowly than when she was a puppy, but behind those eyes she is wise, and I have much to learn from her.
For the next year, I'll be finding and reframing moments from my daily life, looking for the beautiful, the mysterious, the ephemeral. Using a line from an e.e. cummings poem as my inspiration -- "Always the beautiful answer who asks a more beautiful question" -- I'll see how reframing my everyday experience changes and inspires me.
So many books. (Taken with instagram)
We just announced it on our Facebook...
Keep Going; Don’t Stop (by inter-vivos)
