I think it was Tom Petty who drawled about how difficult it was to sit around the wait for things to unfold, to allow the natural course of events to take shape. I, like many people, would prefer to shape my own life, and sometimes I’m not that good at waiting, even after 15 years of steady meditation practice.
I got my final proofs of my book cover, which I’m pretty sure I’m gonna go with:
Not bad. Not bad at all, and that’s part of it. I’m excited for my new book to come out. Though it’s largely a story of my own life, with a few other things thrown in for good measure, I actually feel like other people might enjoy it or even be able to benefit from the struggle with being different, trying to fit and finally embracing your difference as something inescapable and even positive. But I have to wait until April 24th for it to come out, so I have to get used to that. Sigh. No use wishing time away.
I also have something pretty important happening tomorrow, something pretty big for the book itself, and for me as its writer. I’ll write more about how it goes tomorrow, but for now, the waiting really is the hardest part.
You know how your mind just starts to do the weirdest things, creating all kinds of positive scenarios, reaching into the future to see what will happen, and then reaching back into the past to see if you can really trust what might happen? And never staying around much in the present moment? I suppose I should be used to this after watching my mind for 15 years. But maybe you never get used to what it does when you’re lot looking.
To reframe my need to wait, yet my desire to do nothing of the sort, I did some yoga. OK, part of that was fitness-based, but I wanted to see if it also had a bit of a patience boosting effect. It did, a little. Then, a few hours later, I still had some energy, so I went to a Pilates class. These are hard, as anyone who’s one them will tell you. But I wanted to see if moving my focus to my body would get me out of my head.
This actually worked. And I’m ever so slightly fitter in the process. My body is sore, but I’m sure I’ll sleep tonight, which will come in handy. And from there, all I can do is watch my mind, work with my thoughts and cross my fingers for a good result.
Wish me luck.