A few month ago, reframing was a new concept to me. I’d heard about it a lot, and thought it was some sort of mind programing, where you pretended that your dark or negative thoughts didn’t exist and instead pasted a happy face over them. By now, I’ve figured out that that was pretty ignorant.
Now, almost a third of the way through this blogging project of posting daily for 365 days while reframing my life experiences, I find myself a bit more open, pretty effortlessly. In other words, I don’t have to try and pretend my thoughts don’t exist. I just try to find a way in the moment to see them in another way. If that’s not possible, I don’t force it. No biggie. It’s about perspective. Even investigating a potential alternative reality to the one I’m obsessing on can be quite liberating.
I find myself a lot more relaxed, and I rarely get overly upset by the little things. Sure, I have emotions. I’m human, after all. But again, I don’t have to think about what the “right” response might be, or punish myself for not having the “right” reactions to given situations. Most of the time, they come pretty naturally, as long as I keep a certain level of awareness in the moment. And I’ve pretty much done away with the notion of “right” anyway.
When I talk to people about the blog, or whenever people email me asking questions, they want to know if you have to believe in certain things to practice with reframing. Nope. It’s not about beliefs, but being open and fluid as much as possible. It has to do with recognizing your feelings when they come up, and being committed to sitting with and honoring them even as you’re seeking another way to see them.
Mostly, reframing is kind of like throwing off beliefs, and rules, and unconscious ways of being. So when someone does something that pisses me off, or confuses me, or makes me want to move to an unpopulated country with little more than a backpack for company, I think unbelievable, and the other part of me tells me that’s half right.