The Beautiful Answer

Missed Connections

I used to read them, back in the ’80s and ’90s, those missed connections at the back of most major newspapers. One person sees another, thinks there’s chemistry or eye contact and advertises to see if the slight chance that the other person feels the same way, not to mention reads the same newspaper, could lead to something more. 

Part of me used to find them funny, or sad, or some combination of both. Now that I deal with all kinds of people on any given day, I’ve come to realize that missed connections may be the most common of all. 

Today I read a few people, helped extend healing to a few others, and got some writing and research in. On any given day, a theme will emerge, and today’s was love that had somehow taken a sharp right or left turn, or a connection that were supposed to happen which just somehow … didn’t. 

These days tend to make me sad. After all, my years of reading people of all kinds has taught me that we’re so seriously after the same things that no matter where you come from, no matter what your race, creed, color, shape or size, you want to be loved. You want to feel special, to know someone cares about you. To not feel alone. 

You want to feel safe and secure. You want to know happiness. And this happiness sometimes depends on forming and maintaining connections with others.

How can we form these connections when we’re moving so fast beyond one another?

How can we see that we may be perfect for someone right in front of us?

And how can we slow down  for a few minutes at least, to see the person right beside us, who wants and needs the very same things we do? 

So Humbled to Be Part of This

Today I reached a milestone in more ways than one.  I’ve mentioned before that I am a writer, and have been doing this professionally (i.e., getting paid for it) for better than 15 years. I’m also a reader and healer, and have been doing this professionally (again, getting paid for it in a regular basis) for even longer. Sometimes, none of that matters, like today. 

I have been on the radio a lot more these days, to talk about Searching for Sassy, a new e-book I’m releasing called Astrology for Foodies, and a workshop I’m teaching on Intuitive Dating. That’s given rise to a pretty big surge in new clients as well. I’m getting people from England, Holland, California, Japan, Australia and New Zealand, and other parts of Europe. Even got a new client from the Cayman Islands yesterday — pretty neat. 

Let me say for anyone who doesn’t know that that it can be jarring to meet so many new people every day if you’re intuitive. You’re picking up on all sorts of energy and have to read it while talking (hard enough) and then make sure you’re making sense to your client (harder still), all the while toggling back and forth from this world to the other. But every once in a while, you meet someone you’re clearly so destined to meet, where your skill set, manner and belief system are so clearly meant to come into contact with someone else’s that it’s like two trains running toward each other on the same track. 

I don’t want to mention this person’s name, to protect his privacy. Suffice it to say that like many people, he was moving through a crisis, a time of great upheaval and tumult. I meet a lot of people like that and have learned to get out of the way and let them have their process. I can’t solve everything. All I can do is apply my skills and hope for the best. So I did, and he healed somewhat, becoming lighter and lighter as I talked to him. 

By the end, he claimed to be a skeptic who had heard me on the radio and, as he became overwhelmed and began to cry, said he knew when he heard my voice that I was the one who had to deliver a message about his healing and growth through this tough time. O … M … G. 

Cut to me dropping to my knees, emotionally speaking.

It’s not about me. I repeat; it’s not about me. I am a vessel for the divine. Its various aspects operate through my body and mind on a daily basis. It’s such a tough thing to even get across, after so long doing this. But I am so damn humbled to be part of this process, so grateful to be right here, right now, to help one more person move through the pain and back into the light. 

I strive to be helpful, to be of service, and hope that I am. 

Retroactive

You ever notice that whenever you’re tweaked about something, it’s generally not about that particular moment in time?  More likely, it’s triggering something you went through in the past, and your rection to it in this moment is overblown and maybe even the slightest bit inappropriate. 

I saw this in action today, which gave me a great opportunity for reframing. I was talking to someone (don’t want to name names because it’s not about blame or finger-pointing) and this person asked why spiritual people always seemed blind to their own faults, while readers (of which I am one) often have so much to give, and those seeking readings often interrupt, try to talk over you and really don’t want to hear what you have to say most of the time. 

True, this stuff happens sometimes. Maybe even more than sometimes. But that’s not a world I want to live in, or a dynamic I choose to support. I’m not much of a fan of the “us vs. them” approach to life because it doesn’t tend to get anyone much of anywhere.

So I said I was glad they had come to me instead of someone else who might not care. She sat in stunned silence for a few seconds, I guess fully expecting me to jump on the “clients suck” bandwagon. But I don’t feel that way about my clients, even the ones who sometimes make my job harder. That’s not why I got into this lone of work, or why I continue to stay in it. 

Then she said, “You know, I never thought about it that way. That’s probably true, huh?” 

In that moment everything went retroactive, and all the times I’d complained about a client in the past (I’m not perfect; I’ve done it, too) kind of lifted off me energetically. And all I could feel in its place were sparkly little pulses of all that remained — my wish to be part of the circle of healing, and gratitude at being afforded the chance. 

Ah, the Healing

Short post tonight, because after so much work for so many days in a row, I haven’t had much time off. Of course, it’s for a good cause — the stuff I care about, my life and career. But I find that as I near this little blogging experiment, I am drawn more and more to self-care, and find that I need to get better at it for myself. 

I spend a lot of time helping others to heal. I love this work so much that I’ll probably do it in some degree until I leave the planet. But sometimes, you need to blow off the world a little, relax, read a book in a field somewhere. Today I took a long drive with my husband, saw The Convert at the Kirk Douglas Theatre in Culver City and grabbed some late lunch on the way back home. 

These are the rhythms of a normal, laid back life. I don’t get to experience these very much, with the schedule I’m currently keeping. Not that I’m complaining, mind you. I am glad to be here, healthy and vibrant, building what I want to see in the world. So pulling away a bit doesn’t come from any resentment I may feel about working too much. Rather it comes from the need to restore and regenerate, for a few days at least, until I’m strong enough to give as much to myself as I give to others. 

Heal!

You know those old images of televangelists, who hold their hands in the air and say HEAL! really loudly, sometimes knocking someone in the head until they fly backward, or stumble into the aisle? I haven’t been to enough tent revival meetings to know how true this is (or isn’t), but that’s pretty much how I felt today. 

No, life didn’t hand me one of those grudgingly learned lessons, or humble me into a new belief. It didn’t ask me to go to an embarrassing mental place in order to grow and change. 

For small things, I can be very grateful. 

What it did is sneak up on me. It’s been a very busy few months for me, preparing for a book launch, attend a lot of meetings, doing book marketing and even getting ready for a play to be staged and marketed in Baltimore (where I don’t live). In times like these, time is flying by so fast, and you’re forgetting to eat or sleep much, that it’s easy to lose sight of the long-term plans to stay centered and focused. 

Today, since things slowed down a bit (my book cracked the top 100 books in all of Amazon, in both the paperback and e-book versions — not bad for the little book that could!). I was sitting at my desk just allowing my mind to drift a little, which feels wildly luxurious these days. I’ve been wanting to start writing on a new project, but my mind didn’t want to go there. So I let it wander. 

And it showed me where I’d been this time last year, and then the year before that. It went back three years, then four, and then five. It was moving so quickly, I didn’t have much time to react. All I saw was a kind of backwards time-lapse photography, where I was being shown where I had come from, and where I was now, and how much progress I had made, not just in terms of accomplishments, but of healing. I had left behind old ideas that limited who and what I could become, and old relationships that no longer served me. Part of me had even left behind the idea of having to get anywhere, so much so that just to reach out for something, or the idea of something, got me closer than I have ever been to being the person I’ve always wanted to be. 

Time to Leap

I’ve been thinking about risk lately, partially because of my own risk-taking activities like being a healer, writing a book and putting it out there, hell, even being kind is a kind of risk-taking in a world that’s sometimes cruel. Though the Sun has recently left Aries, a fiery risk-taking sign, to enter Taurus, that can be a somewhat deceptive. Taurus has its own adventurous side, albeit one that takes a little longer to manifest. I chose to launch my book Searching for Sassy: An L.A. Phone Psychic’s Tales of Life, Lust & Love during early Taurus because it’s a sign that builds momentum. It takes security as its highest goal, and desires stability and long-term success above all. 

Sure, it would have been easier to release it during Aries, get the quick hit of good fortune and be on my way. But Aries sometimes has a hard time sustaining momentum. Today, as the Gemini Moon sextiles both Uranus and Mercury, squares Chiron and conjuncts Venus, it’s about throwing off old patterns of pain and suffering (they no longer work anyway, if they ever did). It’s about embracing what makes you different, and speaking from that hard-fought place of truth. It’s a place of beauty and creativity and just the slightest but of pride in what you have accomplished. 

In short, it’s a time to take that leap, and know, not hope, that the net will appear. 

(In case anyone’s interested in finding out more about my book, or buying it on launch day — Tuesday, April 24th — in exchange for some pretty cool freebies, meditations, e-books and more, check out http://www.searchingforsassy.com)

You Get What You Need

I’ve been thinking about direction today, and how what we set out to get often differs from what we get. I don’t say that in a pessimistic way, assuming that somehow our needs or goals will never be accomplished. I don’t say it out of bitterness or even a defeatist attitude. Not at all. There is wisdom inside that statement — You Get What You Need — and all we need to do is look inside it, without judgement, to truly understand it. 

Direction is something we start out moving toward. It’s what motivates us and keeps us moving along a path. But direction can, and often is, changed as we make our way toward those goals. Contrary to popular opinion, it’s not about being punished for not being good enough or deserving enough. It’s not about being open to staying on the path, or not. Or starting out in one direction, then taking a detour before dovetailing back with your original direction. 

I started out wanting to be a filmmaker. I wrote a few things, directed a few things, and still love movies. But other than writing them, I have no desire to make them anymore. I was a professional writer and editor for many years, and though I still write books, plays and sometimes screenplays, another aspect of my life — healing — arose when I needed it most. 

A few people in my family went through some illnesses. I went through one, a big one, and used all that I had learned about healing to heal myself. And now I can’t imagine my life with this additional aspect. Some part of me believes that there will probably be still more directions or tangents, to my life. Maybe there will be television, or business partnerships that expand what I’m already doing. 

It’s true that we all get what we need. But according to Mick and the boys, we may also get what we want sometimes, and not just in song. 

The Finish Line

You know you’ve been running for a long time, doing whatever you’re doing, if you’ve forgotten about the finish line. In my case, I’ve been writing so long, reading people, trying to gain additional knowledge of healing every day that I practice, and preparing for a book launch on April 24th. In the time period between there and here, I’ve also been asked to write articles, blog posts, screenplays and even another book proposal, which I totally can’t even think about right now. The brain just rejects anything else trying to crowd its way in.

Then today it dawned on me that I had kind of erased the finish line in my mind. 

Part of me is glad that happened. If you’re concentrated on when the race will be over, you get tired faster, at least in my experience. You have more endurance if you can put the end result toward the back of your mind, and let it hang out with the rest of your discarded thoughts. 

But when do you get there, then? How do you celebrate any real sense of achievement if you’ve never arrived? This way, you get too focused on the destination to the detriment of the journey, and all the scenery blurs by as you race your ass to the the next thing on the list. 

All right, all right. Maybe I get the drill. Though I can get a bit too focused on what I’m trying to do, filling my days with all the stuff I feel means something in this world, perhaps I also need to stop and smell the … whatever sometimes. Call it the stop and go plan, the “I’ll get there eventually” mandala, the oh-my-god-isn’t-this-life-beautiful way of racing, where people and goals and the ineffable are all one and the same, equally weighted in this gorgeous cosmic dance. 

Wishes Into Dreams

Maybe it’s the 2012 phenonemon, and the people who still keep writing to me, practically on a daily basis, asking if I believe the world is going to come to an end this year. 

Short answer?  No, I don’t. 

Long answer? I’m being guided in a big way to offer some new programs, providing accelerated healing for those who are interested. I use a hybrid kind of energy work, delivered by distance protocol (over the phone), and have been given a lot more techniques through my guides, who seem to want me to share this on a larger stage very shortly. 

When I did some automatic writing about it, I saw that the reason behind the accelerated healing programs I’m supposed to offer has to do with my work, of course, and getting these techniques out to those who can use them, as well as healers who can spread them among their own clientele. But I also realized that the reason it’s happening now is that 2012 represents an acceleration in our development as a species. When I was in the channeling state, I saw that we’re on the precipice not as far as whether or not we’ll survive, or whether the planet will survive (that’s up to the divine to decide, I suppose, and will take many, many more years before it’s even likely to happen), but having to decide how we want to be as people, what types of people we want to be around, and what type of activities we want to engage in for the remainder of our time on earth.

It’s a pretty big decision. All I know is that one of my life goals is to help people heal, to rid themselves of any mental, emotional, spiritual or physical blocks so they can get their divine purpose under way. I know we are stronger in numbers than alone, and it’s we’re going to turn wishes into dreams, will ned to work together to make it happen. 

Further Reason for Celebration

Did something I’ve never done before today — hypnotherapy. I’m a big fan of trying new things, meeting new people and traveling new places, as much as time and cash will allow.  I’ve done plenty of past life regressions, which are sort of similar, but this was something new for me. Which is how it should be on a Sunday. 

It went well, if a bit confused, in keeping with the persent Mercury retrograde situation. But I’d gone in with no real expectations except to release whatever might be in my subconscious mind which could be holding me back. Never see that stuff coming, do we? 

On the table — I was lying on my back with closed eyes — I felt my body melting away. Balls of energy started to lift out of my body and lift toward the ceiling. I began to feel lighter, less encumbered by all the crap we all carry around with us, often without having any idea we’re doing this. I felt my guides working with me, saying, “You don’t need that, you don’t need that, and you definitely don’t need that.” 

We moved on to my goals, which are many, and I saw that strung out like beds on a timeline. A hand reached down and shoved them to the left — done, done, done, they said — and when I woke up a few minutes later, I believed that was true, on some level. Now to see what happens next, which is always further reason for celebration.