The Beautiful Answer

Reframing the Future

I can’t believe it, but this is my 365th post. It’s been a year since I started this blog,  beginning with a line from an e.e. cummings poem as my inspiration: 

“Always the beautiful answer who asks a more beautiful question.” 

In the year I’ve been writing, I’ve asked a lot of questions. It began with wanting somehow to release some of the negativity I felt surrounded me, to let go of some aspects of myself that I had outgrown, and release some people who weren’t really making my life a more loving and rewarding place to be. 

As I began to actually go out of my way to search for the beauty, I found it. Almost immediately I could feel my heart and spirit becoming lighter. Which is not to say that all of a sudden, everything got amazing and better. But I started looking deeper and even deeper. I started noticing more. Stuff that used to bug the crap out of me, like the endless whining for more love, more attention and more … whatever someone didn’t have, began to sound like background noise. 

In reframing my present, I found. I was reframing the future as well. 

There is no real way to tell where any of us are going, even though I work in the realm of the intuitive every day, and have seen first hand how much this stuff works. But I know that I am headed in a far better direction than the one I had going a year ago. I don’t have to search for happiness now. It’s sitting right in front of me.

I can take my  camera and find a shaft of sunlight, or a little kid blowing bubbles, and everything changes. In that moment, I have found contentment, all on my own, not counted on someone else to determine my mood. I have claimed an entirely new set of tools to work with, broken them in, and even shared them with some of my clients. 

So on this last day of this blog, I want to say thank you to the people I have met. You are a cool bunch, with lots of interesting things to say. You’re funny and human and endlessly searching for that one perfect photo, or post, or joke to share with others. Because blogging is nothing but sharing, after all. So in that spirit, I invite anyone who wants to stay in touch to join me at http://www.sassypsychic.com. Think about signing up for the mailing list (don’t worry, I don’t overemail, and you always have the choice to unsubscribe), friending me on Facebook, or following me on Twitter (links on the left side of the Sassy Psychic home page). 

I hope your journey is made happier for being here. 

Daring the Truth

I’ve been thinking a lot about lying lately, the tiny patterns of lying that go on in our daily lives all the time. Most of us have become so used to lying - to get a sick day, to not attend a friend or colleague’s event, or to not pay quite as much on your taxes this year (or get a bigger refund), that we think nothing of it. 

When I go to Facebook, for example, I’m astounded by all the lying I see, and I may spend five or six minutes max on Facebook each day. I don’t have time to use it as an excuse to socialize (without ever really having to do it), and definitely don’t have time to sit around watching peopie lie to my face. How do I know this? I know the people doing the lying. How do I know they’re lying? They’ve told me something completely different on the phone, or confided something sad or dark in passing. 

So why has the image of success become more interesting or important than actual success?  How have we gotten here, where we’d rather lie than strive for a goal or achievement? While I can’t do much about what other people do, or decide to say or leave out, I can reframe like a mofo.

So I decided to work with lying today, or hiding the truth, or leaving things out so the truth was somehow obscured. As I sat in meditation, I called forth all the lies that were just around me in that moment. I saw a friend who was trying to paint a picture of online success while struggling with addiction, a woman carrying a fake Louis Vuitton bag at the post office (What is it with those bags? Literally no one thinks they’re real, people), and a basketball player trying to convince a ref that he hadn’t committed a foul when the replay showed it, obvious and real. 

I let the feelings of the lies wash over me, and take form in my mind’s eye. Surprisingly, they felt much like fear — all closed down and blackly smoking. My chest closed when I felt them. I wanted them gone as soon as possible. I applied the “antidote” as soon as I could: a wide open sense of possibility, blue skies, natural scenes, purpose and a reopened chest to ease breathing. Whew. That’s a lot better. Successfully neutralized. 

But when I came out of the meditation, I realized that I didn’t necessarily need to reframe the lying all around me. I needed to dare the truth to come forward in my own life. And when the next moment arose, and I had to tell someone an uncomfortable truth, I did it gently and mindfully, without drama or undue hurt. 

One dare successfully down. A billion more to go. 

Exciting News, But Not Yet

You know when someone tells you something really great, and you’re not allowed to tell anyone? It’s like a the greatest secret ever, and even though you may have been the best secret-keeper in the world a few minutes ago, as soon as you hear this information you’re all of a sudden the town freakin’ crier. You’ve got to tell someone … anyone. So you flip through your address book, trying to choose the friend who’s least likely to blab it all over Facebook, then weigh it as the phone is ringing … only to hang up on the third one. 

What the hell were you thinking? You promised not to tell and you shouldn’t — but God damn it! You have to tell someone. Right now. 

In the end, I’m going to be a good girl. I’m going to write this post on not telling. 

The bottom line is that I have some pretty cool news about a project I’m working on, but have promised not to tell anyone … yet. It’s been a labor of love for a while now. Not just something to keep me busy but which actually means something. So of course I’m bursting. 

Reframing this, I decided to think of the news as a zephyr. You know, one of those delightful breezes from the west? There’s something light and magical about them, portending good news. And as I sat in meditation today, feeling these breezes comb back my hair and happy-up my day, it became easier to keep the secret — for at least another 24 hours or so. So much temptation around; it’s good to know that this tool can help curb reactivity, even if it’s for a good reason, and help my mind slow down enough to live up to my promises. 

Reunited & It Feels So Good

I can’t get that smarmy Peaches & Herb track from the ’70s out of my head today, for some reason. Maybe one of them is going to bite it, or I’m going to be reunited with a person or idea from my past. Hey, it could happen. I’m not going to stress about it. 

I’m in full-on planing mode today, which happens in the  life of every creative person, at least if you’re trying to or actually making a living at it. You can’t just fuck off to an island nation anymore and drink a lot, tapping out a little ditty every once in a while and living off an obscene expense account. It just doesn’t happen anymore. Instead, even if you’re on a big publishers’s midlist, you’re going to have to hire a publicist and work your butt off on Facebook, Twitter and other social media trying to carve out your little piece of the attention pie. Then you’re going to have to turn that into sales. 

I’ve sighed about this more than I probably should have, and have subsequently come to accept it over the past few years. I’d rather know the truth, after all, than toil in ignorance forever. So I’ve become reunited with my marketing brain, which takes brief vacations between the projects I write. Since I’m very busy with readings and energy work sessions, and the work that has to be done before the release of my book next year, not to mention a new play that will be staged in 2012, I’m not planning to write anything new for the remainder of the year. 

And to push this forward, I imagine myself fracturing into the Seven Dwarves, who not only get a lot of frickin’ work done, but actually seem to like it. Whistling while I work, you wise little guys. Bring it up for a high five. 

Hear This: We Have Everything

Short post tonight because I’m tired and have to sleep it off. Not some sort of alcohol binge, but the heaviness of complainers. Some days it seems like everyone I talk to , or observe on Facebook, or even my clients are complaining about their lives not being the way they want them to be. But there’s a big difference between discovering that you’re not satisfied with some part of your life and then finding a way to change it, and just complaining for the sake of complaining. As if the world owes you a living, or is somehow responsible for your feelings about your job, your relationships, and your ultimate personal satisfaction. 

Bottom line? The universe wants to help. It just needs more than complaining. How about a little encouragement, or focused intention? How about some gratitude mixed in with your constant requests for Things to Be Different? 

How would you feel if people only came around when they wanted something from you? You’d probably get pretty pissed. But you don’t hear the universe complaining, do you? 

All the Small Things

Ugh. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little typing that headline. It reminds me of that dumbass Blink 182 song from the ’90s, and waiting for something better to come on the radio. But let’s get back on track. Today has been one of those experimental-type days, when I try new things out and then see what happens. 

The first few of these moments were communication-oriented, as I stood up for myself with some folks who want payment from me for something that’s not really done yet. Crappy customer service experience aside, it’s worked out pretty well (so far), and I didn’t have to go to Defcon 4 to get it that way. Consider it a successful reframe. 

The next one was more observational. I like to watch how other people react to things I put out on the Internet, particularly Facebook, and then interact with each other in turn. Part of me wants to see what people’s secret agendas are (they’re seldom as sneaky as they think they are) and part of me just likes to people-watch. I’m a shameless eavesdropper, and just dig watching people when they think they’re not being watched. It’s a great technique for listening as a writer. 

It’s interesting when people who are normally all over your stuff don’t want to get involved. I’ve had a lot of great things happen for me over the past few weeks, and it’s really interesting who can’t say congratulations and who just doesn’t even bother to say anything. It’s their business, of course. I can’t get too caught up in what other people do or think. It’s just not how I roll. But it’s all those small things that make a relationship, and some forget that it goes both ways. 

I’m as supportive as the day is long when you’re my friend. I’m also incredibly loyal. So when other people don’t step up to the plate when my stuff is concerned, it’s certainly noticed. How I react to it, or not, depends on my training. And since this reframing stuff has already had a huge effect on the way I look at the world on a daily basis, not to mention the way I interact with other people, It just causes me to move away, not engage, hoping for more attention or love, and certainly not pick a fight. 

The funny thing is that when you move away from people like this, they’re usually all over you again. Maybe because you exist to help them feel better about themselves, or because they’re lonely.  Either way, I get those feelings. I just don’t want to be around people who can’t take it all in and engage with everyone, no matter how great or awful they might be doing in that moment. 

Oh, Destiny!

I love it when the universe seems to open up in a unique moment and offer an experience up that seems tailor-made for that time in my life. Of course, it feels a lot better if it’s a positive experience, but I’ve learned to be more tolerant of the less-than-pleasant ones, because they’re often jam-packed with assistance or messages. Today, I decided to try a lttle experiment. 

I’ve been meditating for about 15 years now, and am constantly re-evaluating my practice, trying new things, and generally attempting to bring the awareness into my daily life, instead of leaving it all on the cushion, as they say. Part of meditation practice, at last in some Buddhist schools, involves watching the thoughts. Just kind of being with them as they float through your consciousness which maybe ironically has the effect of diminishing them over time, even though that’s not what you’re trying to do at first. 

Today I decided to watch other people’s thoughts, to see how that compared to my own. I read the daily newspapers I check out, and found that most of those thoughts were frightened and a little angry, almost looking for things to be fucked up so there was something to write about. I had to search pretty hard to find the factual news, devoid of emotion or bias. I read a few blogs, and they’re of course opinion-based, just as mine is. I don’t expect them to be news, but I did find that overall, the blogs I read are a little more enlightened — kind of just searching and engaged with the business of living (as long as they weren’t secret portals for porn). 

Finally, I compared these two sources of information to Facebook posts. Maybe it’s me, but Facebook started out as a really cool way to stay in touch with people, to reconnect, but it seems to have evolved into the Most Narcissistic Place on Earth, with people shouting into the void, and not really listening to anyone else. 

Observed this way, as if they were thoughts moving through a mind instead of various ways of gathering information, was really interesting. The news is the news. I don’t expect it to be different. But people have the choice of how to reframe their reality with their words and gestures. Blogs are one such way, as are Facebook posts. 

I had not expected to find that the healthiest thoughts (again, in my opinion) came from blogs. Though some were hateful or even self-destructive or painful at times, they revealed a pattern of searching for truth. Meanwhile, Facebook became, for me, a fairly toxic environment of non-support and dysfunction. My reframe will be to limit my time there to the bare minimum.

When I returned to my own thoughts, I found that my mind was more expansive for this little experiment, and my own destiny a little clearer overall. Mission accomplished. 

Forging My Own Path

I’ve never been one to do things the easy way. Part of me doesn’t like the idea of treading a path already tread by millions of other people, but it goes beyond that. I like the unbeaten path, the unfamiliar, the unknown. I like to explore, and that means that seldom do things go as planned in my life.

Take this blog, for example. I’m a working writer and intuitive healer. I don’t need an excuse to write. I don’t have a problem with discipline and procrastination, as many writers do. It’s too much fun for me to be anything other than happy and free when I do it. Even when nothing is flowing and I feel like a dental surgeon in there, trying to force the right words to come, it’s still fun. So I have no complaints.

But sometimes your own path comes with a bit of loneliness.  Most of my friends don’t do the kind of work I do. They’re holed up in offices for the better part of the day (and sometimes part of the night) working for slave-drivers and miscreants of one kind or another. Sometimes I go weeks without seeing or hearing from them, save for the odd Facebook thread or group invitation to an upcoming event. They’re the closest to understanding what I do, or why I do it, and I know they’re on my side. But I’m increasingly annoyed with Facebook and have no use for all the other social networking sites I’m regularly invited to join.

So to reframe the loneliness of the writing life, I thought about what to do. And realized that not only am I extremely lucky to do what I love and get paid for it, I’m lucky to have great friends. I’m lucky to get to travel as I do (especially with my upcoming book, to be released in April 2012) and meet even more cool people around the world. In short, a little quiet time expressing my gratitude is better than fretting over how much human time I’ve had. I’ll take it any day of the week.

Taking Flight

I love watching people talk on Facebook, though I’m not so into the medium myself. The irony is that even though it’s technically a social media  platform, it seldom encourages social behavior. People yell. They pontificate. They outright lie, or get involved in such narcissistic behaviors that you kind of have to laugh.

What it practically never encourages? Taking risks. Looking stupid. Falling on your face a few thousand times, and learning from those mistakes. Getting scars that tell as much about where you’ve been as a person as they do about your wounds and vulnerabilities.

Today I have been a reframing machine, refusing to take no for an answer on an opportunity I’ve been handed. Too often, it’s easy to give up when things don’t immediately come together, or take that as a sign from Whomever Is Up There that it’s just not meant to be.

Actually, it is. Eminem, via a kick-ass gospel choir from Detroit, told me so. Don’t believe me? Check it out here:

It’s the line about things being “once in a lifetime,” and not not missing the “opportunity that comes once in a lifetime” that made goosebumps jump out all over my skin. Today I felt like this was speaking directly to me. I mean, the Eminem version was already great, but this one gives the song an entirely new meaning. And thanks to them, I’m gonna own it, and will indeed lose myself in what I have been dreaming about for more than a year now.

(Deep breath) Here I come!

(Source: http)

Is This Enough?

Every once in a while, I run into a person or situation that reminds me to cherish what I have. You see, I’m pretty happy. Trying, like most people, to advance certain goals and ideas I hold dear, be a good friend and a better mate, a decent person. And contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t take someone who’s suffering terribly in some war zone, or who’s lost someone, or facing an uncertain future. Sometimes, all it takes is running into someone online, who’s about as checked out as you could possibly be, to make you drop to the ground in supplication that it’s not you.

Going on Facebook for me is kind of like being asked to eat a tablespoon of ground glass each day (see my post on How Facebook is Like Old Gregg for more on that). I do it to stay in touch with people, and to see if there’s any community to be found around topics I find important, like spirituality, tolerance, the preservation of humanity. You know, stuff like that. So I always experience it like a slap in the face when I find unmitigated bigotry, or hatred, or intolerance of any kind. Particularly if it’s someone you used to go to high school with, and thought you knew pretty well.

People change. That’s a fact. And they seldom check with me before they do, which I’m trying to get a law passed about. But I’ll get back to you on that. So I have to be OK with that. Right? Or at least extend the same tolerance in their direction. But I always feel like a good rumble when I see these posts, and have to talk my aggression down. After all, meeting violence (even if it’s violence of speech) with violence seldom achieves peace. Just like Bob Marley said, only love can do that.

Reframing this is easier than some of the other tasks I’ve had so far. I can limit my time on Facebook, or just be happy that we all have the right, the freedom, to express our opinions without reprisal. Even this person, whose opinions I find odious and hateful, has the right to say what’s on his mind. And I will respect that. I have to, if I truly believe in the mission of our country. This is, and always will be, enough.