The Beautiful Answer

So Incredibly Close

You know when you get so close to something you’ve been working for for so long that, well, people say you can taste it? Strangely enough, it’s not my sense of taste that’s most engaged when this happens, but you for you, maybe that’s what happens. Instead, it’s my sense of touch and smell that get most affected. 

First, I can feel with my hands how the energy begins to change when I’m very close to breaking through. It opens up in a way that feels like nothing else. You know how it feels when you move your hand through an open window, when it just moves easily through space? This is how it feels to me. 

Second, I begin to smell it, almost like I’m running a race, and beginning to catch up to the lead runner. I can see the sweat on the back of this person’s neck, hear the air moving through his lungs, and witness his chest moving up and down as he races for the finish line. But it’s the smell that brings it into three dimensions for me. I can smell his feet, hot in his sneakers, straining to bring him there faster. I can smell his fear coming out of his pores, that after so much work, he may end up finishing behind me. And I can smell everything going on around the race — the air like a cross between fresh paper and jasmine, the water chck-chck-chking from the sprinkler on the lawn, the smell of the shampoo in my hair, as it streams into the air behind me. 

This is a race that plays out in my mind a lot these days. I am gaining on this runner every day. And with the energy this open, who knows where it will all end up? 

Me 2.0 

It’s starting to sink in that I’ll soon be finished with this blog, 365 days of almost daily posting, reframing my experience to find the beauty in my daily life if necessary, and finding ways got work with the challenging and the rest. Before I’ve even finished the 365th post, though, I’m noticing that a profound change has already come over me. 

I started this blog because I was noticing a lot of negative people around me. It started to really build up for me — all the bitching and griping, spending previous moments complaining about the same things over and over instead of ever doing anything about them. I got the feeling that these people somehow expected others to build their lives for them, to take the responsibility that was rightfully theirs to make them happy. 

Beauty is always the antidote to complaining, I have found. Try spending a day in nature when you’re in a bad mood if you don’t believe me. 

The Me 2.0 that’s emerging is less afraid, less burdened by other people and their issues. Not that I don’t care about people. I just find their intentions to stay stuck a lot less interesting, and a lot less of a drag on my own energy fields. I feel freer, lighter and happier overall. I enjoy doing my work, and so many new avenues to work have opened up for me of late that I enjoy a great deal of gratitude as well. I’ve met some great friends during the past year and, if we’re continuing the software metaphor, believe there are fewer and fewer sucky people in the world. 

In an era of few morals and even fewer reasons to believe, that’s a pretty big deal.

So Humbled to Be Part of This

Today I reached a milestone in more ways than one.  I’ve mentioned before that I am a writer, and have been doing this professionally (i.e., getting paid for it) for better than 15 years. I’m also a reader and healer, and have been doing this professionally (again, getting paid for it in a regular basis) for even longer. Sometimes, none of that matters, like today. 

I have been on the radio a lot more these days, to talk about Searching for Sassy, a new e-book I’m releasing called Astrology for Foodies, and a workshop I’m teaching on Intuitive Dating. That’s given rise to a pretty big surge in new clients as well. I’m getting people from England, Holland, California, Japan, Australia and New Zealand, and other parts of Europe. Even got a new client from the Cayman Islands yesterday — pretty neat. 

Let me say for anyone who doesn’t know that that it can be jarring to meet so many new people every day if you’re intuitive. You’re picking up on all sorts of energy and have to read it while talking (hard enough) and then make sure you’re making sense to your client (harder still), all the while toggling back and forth from this world to the other. But every once in a while, you meet someone you’re clearly so destined to meet, where your skill set, manner and belief system are so clearly meant to come into contact with someone else’s that it’s like two trains running toward each other on the same track. 

I don’t want to mention this person’s name, to protect his privacy. Suffice it to say that like many people, he was moving through a crisis, a time of great upheaval and tumult. I meet a lot of people like that and have learned to get out of the way and let them have their process. I can’t solve everything. All I can do is apply my skills and hope for the best. So I did, and he healed somewhat, becoming lighter and lighter as I talked to him. 

By the end, he claimed to be a skeptic who had heard me on the radio and, as he became overwhelmed and began to cry, said he knew when he heard my voice that I was the one who had to deliver a message about his healing and growth through this tough time. O … M … G. 

Cut to me dropping to my knees, emotionally speaking.

It’s not about me. I repeat; it’s not about me. I am a vessel for the divine. Its various aspects operate through my body and mind on a daily basis. It’s such a tough thing to even get across, after so long doing this. But I am so damn humbled to be part of this process, so grateful to be right here, right now, to help one more person move through the pain and back into the light. 

I strive to be helpful, to be of service, and hope that I am. 

Further Reason for Celebration

Did something I’ve never done before today — hypnotherapy. I’m a big fan of trying new things, meeting new people and traveling new places, as much as time and cash will allow.  I’ve done plenty of past life regressions, which are sort of similar, but this was something new for me. Which is how it should be on a Sunday. 

It went well, if a bit confused, in keeping with the persent Mercury retrograde situation. But I’d gone in with no real expectations except to release whatever might be in my subconscious mind which could be holding me back. Never see that stuff coming, do we? 

On the table — I was lying on my back with closed eyes — I felt my body melting away. Balls of energy started to lift out of my body and lift toward the ceiling. I began to feel lighter, less encumbered by all the crap we all carry around with us, often without having any idea we’re doing this. I felt my guides working with me, saying, “You don’t need that, you don’t need that, and you definitely don’t need that.” 

We moved on to my goals, which are many, and I saw that strung out like beds on a timeline. A hand reached down and shoved them to the left — done, done, done, they said — and when I woke up a few minutes later, I believed that was true, on some level. Now to see what happens next, which is always further reason for celebration. 

Still Tired, Looking Up

You know those days that kind of shoot past, and you realize by the end that you haven’t looked up at the sky at all? It could be raining outside, you have no idea, or it could be sunny and 80 degrees. Today was one of those kinds of days. I have a feeling I’ll be seeing a lot more of those kinds of days in the near future as well. 

Book marketing is going very well. I’m getting some great reviews and quotes, which are all very kind. I’m booking tons of print and radio interviews, and have a few sites wiling to excerpt the book near the launch date of April 24th. 

All I could use now is a huge shot of energy. All right, all right. I know. Writing a book is a huge burst of energy. It’s way closer to the birth process than most people realize. By the end you’re torn up and ready to go fetal for about a month. But then comes the marketing part, which is more like a marathon than a sprint, and you have to talk about yourself (writers aren’t by nature like that, at least not most of them, myself included) for a long time, a few months at least, and more if you’re really driven, as I am. 

By the end you need a vacation like you’ve never needed one, and you don’t want to even hear your own name for like 6 months. I work out a lot anyway, usually 5 times a week, and I mediate each day. I try to work in a fair amount of yoga and Pilates into my workouts, because I get bored easily. So I guess the tiredness I feel now is my wake up call. Time to get your butt in training lady, for this marathon that feels like a sprint. 

Getting some sleep early tonight. Gotta expand that sleeping zone so I can stay rested and ready. I feel so much going forward, and want to be as ready as I can to face the fun stuff ahead. 

Synchronicity

You know those times when someone contacts you out of the blue, and you don’t really know them, but everything in your body tells you that you’re meant to know them, to connect somehow with their energy or message? Personally, I love it when these things happen, because I see them as energetic reflections of what I’m putting out. So if I’m manifesting people who are interesting, loving and giving, that must be the vibration I’m giving off into the universe. I suppose we never really know for sure what we’re doing, until these energetic echoes start coming back at us. 

I experienced this synchronicity a few times today, as people seemed to come at me with loving messages, kind words, encouragement and light. Some of them I didn’t know, Others I may have met once or twice. I have been trained, over the many years I’ve been working with energy, to notice patterns, and see where we’re connecting and being fed back to ourselves. But every time it actually happens and I see myself reflected in the eyes of the universe, I’m humbled and amazed. 

Looking forward to meeting even more of these vibrational twins soon enough. For now it’s good to know there are fellow seekers on the road, and that we’re both getting these together. 

The Space Between

Today’s been a bit of a breakthrough for me. One some days, I “get” other people’s stuff - their emotions and fears, their concerns and worries. I usually know it’s not applicable to my own life when I do a quick check through my body and emotions — there’s usually some separation there — and I know I’m picking up something out there in the universe. 

Today I started picking up some weird energy — a little sadness, coming in tiny waves, and then a thought chasing that through my mind, to not get ahead and leave everyone behind. To not outshine the pack. That’s strange, I thought. Not apart of my waking reality. Not really. 

I sat in meditation for a bit, just allowing the thoughts and sensations to arise in my mind and body. That felt a little better. I did some work, took a break and ate lunch. The feelings dissipated some. I did some more work and then checked in with the feelings again. Then, as chance would have it, I read an article about a guy who studied these seemingly “difficult” emotions that arise in our lives. Most of the time, we’re trained to ignore them at best, and push them away at worst. 

He found that if his test subjects just brought kind awareness to the issues, whether they were physical or emotion in nature, and just abided there, staying with them without judgement, that the pain went away over time. That’s right. Whether it’s physical pain or emotional trauma of some kind, just staying with the feelings without judging whether you or it is good or bad, you can make your own pain go away. 

Fascinating, as Spock would say. That proves what I’ve been wondering about for along time. That healing lies in the space between, hanging out and waiting for us to invite it in. Not easy, to be sure. But worth it? You bet. 

Catharsis

I’ve been writing a lot about the strange energy floating around for the past two and a half weeks or so, both in my own life and in many of my clients’. I’ve read people who are ready to chuck an old career and try a brand new road, some who are sick and trying to get better, and people who are just … confused and uncomfortable by all the change and uncertainty around them. 

True dat. The world is in the midst of some serious change. Mars and Saturn have been battling it out in the sky for a while now, and Uranus is in an applying square to Pluto, which will have major historical ramifications (June of this year should be interesting, as well as a few times next year). 

What has to come, when the world squeezes so hard, is a time of reckoning, when the tension gets so tough to bear that you either crack under the strain or go through a deeper kind of awakening. Of course, I prefer the latter path, and have found that catharsis is the natural antidote to this particular type of groundlessness and suffering. 

Maybe for you it’s a good cry, or releasing something (or someone) painful from your past. Maybe it’s letting go of memories that hurt to recall, or practices that aren’t working anymore. For you it could be a combination of these, or perhaps something completely different. All I know, and what I’m continually guided back to, is the need for us as a species to release at this time in our history. To purge our emotions and come back to ourselves renewed and purified. 

So get catharting!  Let it go. Release. Take a moment, relax every part of your body and watch the tension go. 

And I Thank You

So much of what each of us do on a daily basis is unconscious. I would ask if you ever noticed that but, chances are, you haven’t. Even the most aware, or trying to be aware, miss things. The look on their mate’s face when we say something the tiniest bit cutting, or the hug someone wanted to give us but decided against when we turned away. 

So today, the “last” day of the week (I love that common misconception, as if time stops on the weekend), I decided to not just practice a tad more gratitude, but look into the ways I may overlook things people try to give me, or to show me. I spent some time sitting quietly, just watching my thoughts move through my head. I replayed an email a friend had sent, and saw that I had left it in my in-box, unresponded to, in the rush to get to the next task — the next call, the next article, the next reading and healing session. 

I felt into this person’s energy and saw they were just trying to see how I was, catch up a bit, have the equivalent of a virtual cup of tea.  It’s not as if I had been rude, technically speaking, but I became aware in that moment that I do this sometimes. I push people away by not getting back to them, or not fast enough. And I know what that feels like, when someone does the same to me. 

Of course, it does no good to beat yourself up over it. Just noticing it sufficed for now. And in my head, I built a little shrine to everyone who bothers to notice other people each day. The ones who try to keep communication open, who reach out and catch up. I built one for the people who care about those they ‘ve never met, caught in conflicts across the globe, and those whose children lie in hospital beds, waiting to get better. 

I saw this and I felt it move through my body like a powerful wave. And when I bowed to finish my meditation, I said thank you with my heart instead of my head. 

What, What, What?

I love those days when you feel like you’re past the worst of an energy disturbance and you’re kind of coasting again — at least for a while. Over the past few days, as seemingly everything in my clients’ lives has gone haywire, I’ve been trying to be the calm in the midst of the storm (I almost typed clam in the midst of the storm, which is probably a far more hilarious image). I’ve imagined roots growing from my feet into the earth, establishing a mighty root system that no wind could blow over, then a giant ship with insanely tall masts, capable of navigating through any nor’easter. 

Of course, imagining that this is the last storm I will ever encounter is wishful thinking at best. What I try to do, sometimes more successfully than others, is measure what’s happened, figure out what has to be done (both inside and out) to right the ship, then learn from it and try to to do that again. Maybe see it a little sooner, take evasive maneuvers — whatever’s gonna get me through it a little easier next time. 

This one has been a doozy. The energy is very strange, and all the channeling I have done (I’ll put some of it up on my blog @ SassyPsychic.com, probably tomorrow) is indicative of all this “end of the world” stuff this year is supposed to harbor. As usual, I just want to interpret it, to make sense of all the anger, frustration and uncertainty around me. Relatively speaking, I’m pretty happy, pretty balanced, and headed in the right direction. I try to be that, a little at least, for the people who choose to work with me. But sometimes — today, for example — I want to ask the universe, “What? What? What do you want? How do you want me to see this moment, make necessary adjustments, and help heal others and myself in the bargain? I am willing to work with you, anxious even, but just need to see it more clearly.” 

Make it clearer for me, universe. Please help me see it with all the grace and mercy necessary to bring some light into the word.