I can’t believe it, but this is my 365th post. It’s been a year since I started this blog, beginning with a line from an e.e. cummings poem as my inspiration:
“Always the beautiful answer who asks a more beautiful question.”
In the year I’ve been writing, I’ve asked a lot of questions. It began with wanting somehow to release some of the negativity I felt surrounded me, to let go of some aspects of myself that I had outgrown, and release some people who weren’t really making my life a more loving and rewarding place to be.
As I began to actually go out of my way to search for the beauty, I found it. Almost immediately I could feel my heart and spirit becoming lighter. Which is not to say that all of a sudden, everything got amazing and better. But I started looking deeper and even deeper. I started noticing more. Stuff that used to bug the crap out of me, like the endless whining for more love, more attention and more … whatever someone didn’t have, began to sound like background noise.
In reframing my present, I found. I was reframing the future as well.
There is no real way to tell where any of us are going, even though I work in the realm of the intuitive every day, and have seen first hand how much this stuff works. But I know that I am headed in a far better direction than the one I had going a year ago. I don’t have to search for happiness now. It’s sitting right in front of me.
I can take my camera and find a shaft of sunlight, or a little kid blowing bubbles, and everything changes. In that moment, I have found contentment, all on my own, not counted on someone else to determine my mood. I have claimed an entirely new set of tools to work with, broken them in, and even shared them with some of my clients.
So on this last day of this blog, I want to say thank you to the people I have met. You are a cool bunch, with lots of interesting things to say. You’re funny and human and endlessly searching for that one perfect photo, or post, or joke to share with others. Because blogging is nothing but sharing, after all. So in that spirit, I invite anyone who wants to stay in touch to join me at http://www.sassypsychic.com. Think about signing up for the mailing list (don’t worry, I don’t overemail, and you always have the choice to unsubscribe), friending me on Facebook, or following me on Twitter (links on the left side of the Sassy Psychic home page).
I hope your journey is made happier for being here.
From a channeling session I did earlier this evening, about the upcoming Saturn direct and then Uranus-Pluto square, in case it helps:
Dear Ones, you do not need to be alarmed. The channel and those who follow her know that this one needs no introduction. Her need to support you and tell you of the upcoming troubles ahead is noble. But we ask you this: What time do you need to be home? How do you mean to get there? And when the bus arrives, do you stand in the middle, the back, or the front?
These may sound like idle questions coming from invisible super beings, but we assure you, they’re anything but. The questions have to do with the pressure currently being applied by the physical universe to choose a path and go with it. We send those into the world, such as the channel, who can make our words more concrete for those who cannot see and hear. We send those like the channel to those who cannot have faith in their own abilities, or seem to choose between a semblance of paths in front of them. It is time to choose, dear babies.
This is not so you gain recognition, or gain a gold star in the bargain. It is to bargain with larger forces inside yourself. The voices that want you to fail inside your head must be banished, just as outside action is taken on your part and on the parts of others to make the world a better place must be bettered and increased over time. There will be applied pressure from all sides.
We have said over and over again that it is not our world to waste. It is the divine right of the planetary activity to help some and hinder others. This is not a punishment, and it’s not meant to hurt. As the channel has suggested humorously on more than one occasion, it’s best to go fetal and protect your midsection, lest you get hurt.
We send the lightest beings toward the end of the planetary subsistences, when they are most needed. These will guide you through the next phase of your evolution. We send them directly to you, so you know where to turn when the energy gets darkest. We know you can and will pull through any troubling times with the utmost in grace because the channel has told us you are cool folks who can be counted on to travel in high style. We send the utmost to you, and then the lowest, so you know where you are at any given time.
Far from being a horrible time in history, it will be one of reconnection with the truly mattering, and allow most humans to find the true love they have been falsely seeking from romance novels and advertising. It will be a millennium of truly admirable traits from an admirable bunch of light beings. Carry forth your individual qualities, your inner resolve and your true nature. These will be the things that save us.
As we near the inevitable astrological pairing of Uranus and Pluto, along with the direct movement of Saturn, I and many of my more sensitive clients have noticed a few things. People seem to already be in panic mode of one sort or another, taking everything on and becoming pretty damn reactive. This aspect is once in a lifetime, and serves to literally force us to choose between that which pleases us and that which serves the greater good of humanity, the planet, and our respective relationships.
Not to sound dire or anything like that, but it’s some pretty serious shit. Channeling to come tomorrow night.
I have been drawn to this word idiosyncrasy when trying to describe to people how the energy feels to me. It’s unique, that’s for sure, and very no nonsense — very strong at the core, acting a battering ram and a funnel all in one. But when I looked it up, I found out that the word derives from Ancient Greek meaning “one’s own” with “mixture.”
That sounds like something that would be ready and able to meld a bit, to let some personal things go in order for the whole to thrive. But so far, and we’re not even to the meat of the aspect yet, my experience has been that most are still looking out for themselves, feeling sorry for their inability to get what they want every second of every hour, and giving very little thought to the idea of the collective.
With aspects this strong, we don’t really have a choice. Planets are always going to be bigger and stronger than we are. So it’s always best to cooperate with them as best we can. This blog was started nearly a year ago with the thought of looking for what’s beautiful in the world on a daily basis, what’s hidden behind all the stress and inability to see beyond our own issues. It’s somehow fitting that the blog will end as this aspect applies which, if we’re not aware and intentional, could rob us of that ability to see beyond, to the very truth of our being.
We do not need to be idiots (derived from that same root of “one’s own”). This was a huge diss in their culture, because not taking part in the communal aspects of life was considered a detriment for the entire society. We need to melt a little, to give up something in order to take part of what we need. To not do so is to love ourselves and the next guy less, and that ends up serving no one.
Just three more posts after this one until I’ve officially kept The Beautiful Answer alive for a full year. Wow.
As I get closer and closer to what this actually feels like for me, I’m happy that I managed to stick with something on a daily basis for pretty much the entire year. Four posts were either skipped because I was sick or traveling, and one because I just didn’t feel like writing anything that day.
One thing this blog has definitely hammered home for me is the idea of impermanence. Sure, it’s easy to grasp the concept intellectually, that things don’t last. That as each breath leaves our body, one more moment is moving into the past. But it’s another thing to write down your experience every day for 365 days in a row, watching things that annoyed or amazed you yesterday move into the past as well.
Sometimes I marvel at why people like blogs so much. They offer a place to vent, or keep private thoughts, but only if you don’t mind they’re not really being all that private. For me this has been as much about shifting my perspective on a daily basis, of making that a true spiritual practice so I get used to it, than anything else.
After a few more posts are written, I have no idea what I will do. And that in itself is a pretty cool place of freedom to be in.
I’ve been traveling a lot lately, which always tends to change you somehow. It may be simple as seeing a spontaneous standing ovation in the airport lounge on the way to Baltimore, as veterans from WWII emerged from the airway. It may be as complex as overhearing intimate conversations you’re not supposed to hear — what the baby likes to eat, when you’ll be home from your trip, who’s speaking in low tones to someone clearly not their spouse.
It may be as great as meeting people who show up to hear the written word spoken aloud in Phoenix, or just to see what you’re like, what your journey has been like as you set it down on paper. That’s pretty gratifying, too. But after a while, you get tired of the wheels spinning beneath your feet and you want to come home again, exhausted but happy, to see what you’re going to get up to next.
I don’t know what this is, this next path that will carry me forward. I have some idea, of course, but always like to stay open to suggestion. Most likely, I’ll keep writing a project I started a little while ago, maybe start writing a new play as well. The days will pass and I will travel more, meeting more people from different walks of life. And my life will be informed, and feel fuller and richer and just the slightest bit more human because of it. Did I mention that I love being alive?
Some people don’t believe in astrology, the same way they believe that herbs don’t work, or Western medicine is better than Eastern, though Chinese medicine, for example, has been treating billions of people over many centuries.
That’s cool if you don’t want to believe the paragraph-long horoscope you find in most newspapers. It’s actually a lot more complicated than that. But most sane people will admit that planets have strong gravitational pulls and act on us just as the Moon pulls the tides back and forth each day.
In ten days’ time, we’ll be undergoing a pretty seismic shift, astrologically speaking. Saturn, planet of structure and planning, will go direct (it’s been retrograde since February 7th), while the planets Uranus and Pluto square one another. That’s a pretty big deal, since it happens only every 70 years or so. The last time is happened, the Great Depression was in full force, people were suffering everywhere, Adolph Hitler rose to power in Germany, and the entire world was plunged into war. Various economies were ruined, and took years to rebuild following an Allied victory.
Which of course does mean that we should all quit living, go underground and drink beer all day while listening to Joy Division. But planets are bigger and stronger than we are individually. Chances are, if you’re not on the path the universe wants you to be on, it will not so subtly shoved you onto a better path ASAP.
My advice? Cooperate!
Going fetal for a bit may be the best bet, as long as you’re willing to listen to what’s going on in your heart and in the world at large. What you’re called to do right now you’re probably supposed to do, as long as it doesn’t involve harming yourself or other people. Stop fighting what’s more powerful, and learn to cooperate. That’s the message of this time in history. Don’t let “them” tell you that someone (some group, religion, or other target) is at fault for all your problems. Don’t be that easily manipulated.
Instead, taking a temporarily passive stance, just long enough to listen to the sounds of your life calling, may well help to avert whatever darkness want to rise in the world.
Ever notice that whenever you’ve got a lot going on in your life, the next moments, which are just kind of fine, seem disappointing? I’m sure it has to do with all the adrenaline moving through your system, all the hormones coursing through our bodies for one reason or another.
I suppose that if you’re not careful, you could get addicted to that. After all, there’s no drug that’s better than what our bodies can do. We have all the serotonin we need, unless we’ve been born with some sort of deficiency. We produce hormone spikes, and insulin surges, and even endorphin rushes so powerful people get addicted to whatever’s producing them. We believe heroin’s better than sleep, or meth is better than running.
Shyah. As if the body doesn’t always know better.
Though I’ve noticed some of this behavior in myself, the wanting things to always exist at a breakneck pace, I’m also smart enough to know that lack of sleep just makes you stupid, and doing lots of drugs and alcohol just doesn’t make me happy.
So I’m gonna become a master surfer of the ups and downs of progress. And on days when things aren’t huge and hyper and fabulous, I’m going to take a mental break from all that, read a good book, and let my mind rest. It’ll probably thank me later.
I’ve found a new motto. In working with suffering people every day, and having done a fair amount of suffering myself, I’ve come to understand a few things:
1. That life sometimes has suffering. Probably no way around that.
2. That we add to our own suffering, often without realizing it, by believing on a very deep level that we have to be perfect.
3. Perfect doesn’t exist.
4. Therefore, f*uck perfect.
More to come. But I’d consider this a pretty big breakthrough. I’m sick of telling my friends, family members and clients to try harder. To keep striving for something they may never attain. Not that you shouldn’t try in life, but hell, finding yourself even one step closer to your goals is a success, in my book.
So perfect, watch your back. I’m comin’ for you.
This question is going through my mind more and more as the days fly by. I only have a few more posts until I get to the one year mark with this blog, and will have to post some channeling about it before I finish this up.
Today, all I can seem to think about are moments from my past. They seem to come out of nowhere, leveling me with their intensity, until I’m forced to start looking for patterns. These are people from my past that I have not thought about for years, and others that I have set aside to grow in my own direction. What they have in common I do not yet know.
When I was younger, I was a little dreamer without much time to dream. From my earliest years, I’ve always had a lot of jobs, and did my writing and performing (then, at least) on the side when I had time. I was taught to be afraid of nearly everyone and everything, lest it somehow be coming along to take advantage of me. But I was hungry for experience, and soon learned to throw off my fears. Not that I’m never fearful, mind you. I just have a much better handle on what’s useful fear, and what’s not.
As this blogging project draws to a close, and things have opened up for me in an incredible new way, I’ve been thinking about how far I have come since I was that fearful little kid, and what it all might mean in the scheme of my larger life. Though I don’t have all the answers, and they’re not really tying themselves up into neat little bundles of understanding, I do have a new resolve, a WTF spirit about me, more than usual.
If I don’t know exactly where all this is taking me, I can say why the hell not, and dive in with a little more conviction. That right there I can do.
One of the things that happens when you approach a goal — losing weight, say, or even publishing a book — is that you find you’re doing stuff other people aren’t. It doesn’t mean you’re better or really all that much different in terms of the stuff that makes us all human. We all want love, for example. We all need water, food and shelter. We all push away what we don’t like, and pull toward us whatever has caught our fancy.
What this stuff does do, however, is illustrate how you’re different, highlighting precisely the things you don’t want to look at, at least if you’re like me. Not a lot of people will write book during this lifetime, the same way most will not know what it’s like to lose a lot of weight and literally become a new person. While the person doing those things is trying to catch up to the new “them” they have become, they also realize, sometimes as they look back where they’ve come from, that they’ve inadvertently opened up a pretty big distance between them and other people.
It’s not intentional, and it’s not why I do what I do. But sometimes, even when you’re not trying to, what you do opens this distance. Other people are doing what they do. You’re doing what you do. It’s just what happens over time.
Over the years, I’ve gotten a lot more OK with the fact that this happens. I used to fight it really hard, wanting to bring everyone along on my journey. But then I got really tired, and realized this really wasn’t possible.
It has to be OK to leave some behind as you take big leaps in your life. Though it’s sad, and you miss them a little (or a lot, as the case may be), it’s necessary to keep you on your path toward your highest development. For me, this is beginning to move pretty fast, and is only likely to get faster after Saturn goes direct (more on that soon). Getting more and more and more into allowing as this begins to manifest. Whatever is left behind worked for a time and then needed to move into the past. I’m OK with that.