Admittedly, I try to wake up every day on the “let’s see what happens” side of the bed. I try not to inject too much woo-woo into the day, or force things to be the way I want them to be. After all, this is the recipe for delusion, not happiness.
Some days start off OK, then get a little worse, and then devolve into little more than excuses for filling up the time until bed. Today was one of those days. On a bright note, my short play The Thing With Feathers was chosen to compete in a monologue competition next weekend. That’s great, since it hasn’t been staged yet. But it also means that within the span of 6 days, I have to cut the piece down to a manageable size, find an actor, rehearse, direct him (which I’ve never done before), since I don’t have a real director, and somehow get ready to stage this (which I’ve also never done before). Oh, and keep the rest of my very busy life going, including the running of a pretty successful business.
Great and argh, all at the same time.
It’s been in the making for some time now, I guess, but I only just found out. And it doesn’t help when you’re not feeling all that supported by your friends. Combine that with a little miscommunication, and you have the making of a not-so-beautiful day.
I could thank God for my life again, but I do that a lot. I could go outside and worship nature, which usually does the trick. Or I could be with my feelings, which is probably the healthiest thing to do right now. I’m tired. I work a lot. I give a great deal to my clients and friends. I care, deeply, about what goes on in my world.
So perhaps the best reframing technique I could apply to a time when things aren’t beautiful is to respect what they are. To not force them to be beautiful just because I want them to be. And to realize that this mandate I have set for myself, to look for the beautiful, the mysterious and the ephemeral in my life doesn’t mean that those things will always be there. But I’ll keep looking, believe it.